Post 25 – Chris Tuck ‘My Story’ – Your World/My World

When you are in your own little bubble of thoughts, feelings, and emotions you don’t know any better. The acts of abuse whether they are physical, mental, sexual or all 3 will chip away @ your self esteem, your self confidence, your self worth until you  believe that it is your fault, that you deserve it, that there is no way out, that this is your life, that you have to put up with it, that the perpetrator is doing it for your own good, that they love you (sometimes) and that this is normal.

My siblings and I got told that we were no good, that we would amount to nothing, that we were ugly, that we were stupid, that we were lazy, that we did not deserve anything, that no-one loved us. This was backed up by doing lots of chores like cleaning the house until it gleamed, going without food, warmth, heat, clothes, being sent to bed practically straight from school whilst other kids played outside, being kicked, thumped & hit.

It’s only when you know that deep down something is not right, that you open your eyes to your world, you start processing what is going on in your world and the world around you. You start comparing the two worlds and you become aware of what is normal and you might start to wish if only you could have some normal.

You start to realise that the world you are in is abnormal, it’s not loving, it’s cruel. you don’t like it but it’s your world, you might even feel comfortable, I mean things could be worse couldn’t they? the outside world could be scarier? the grass is not always greener is it? and if you try and do something in your world, it might rock the boat and cause harm to other people.

But what about you?

What about your right to be loved? to be looked after? to be nurtured? not to be scared of your own shadow? to be fed? your right to make decisions, your right to say No!

You have a right to be FREE of negativity and to live a fantastic and fulfilling life.

So here you are in your own little bubble, your own world……worn out, physically & emotionally drained, dreading the day, dreading the night, there is no respite from the abuse it is relentless, you are hungry, you are miserable. You are aware of the limitations of your current life, you know how normal life can be. Your friends are living it, other members of your household are living it. You want some if it but how do you get it?

You start by taking control, you know that one day you will break free of your bubble, you will have a voice, you will be heard. You need to tell yourself that you do deserve better and you will get it. But you need to have courage, you need to be brave, you need to believe that there are people out there that can help you. One day you will find the courage to stand up for your “Rights”.

You will tell someone, the ball of change will roll and you will be set FREE of your nightmare and your life will begin :O)

My belief in you is greater than your doubt :o)

Have a fab day :O)

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3 Responses to Post 25 – Chris Tuck ‘My Story’ – Your World/My World

  1. Alison Winyard says:

    Brilliant piece of writing Chris, very inspirational.
    MY VOICE IN WORDS
    or
    OUR VOICE IN WORDS
    Good title for your book chris I think!
    Lots of hugs and kisses for all your very very hard work. xx

  2. Elaine says:

    After reading your blog after seeing that my mum tina liked your Facebook status decided to write a reply. Not even sure that I should be. I understand my mum tina contacted you and unsure of what she told you or if I know everything but being a mum myself now know you have to protect your child and even never being abused myself and having wonderful parents knowing about the abuse it has still effected me. My mum has been mum to all her sisters too and reading what you wrote sounds exactly how she has been for her sisters who also suffered every day in the hands of Ron, Vi and George. She still supports them everyday and they always turn to her in times of need. ( its like there my half sisters not ny aunts) All her sisters are still suffering some got involved with abusive partners and the abuse continued its cycle even with there children my cousins. ( so I have known about three peodofiles in my life time which makes me trust no one. I myself have trust issues and unanswered questions). My auntie’s are wonderful yet insecure adults who have suffered sexual/mental abuse from there so called parents. I have always been told of the stories of abuse even how they plotted to kill there stepdad as children ( not that this happened) I am sorry that they were horrid to you but hope u can understand it was happening to them too. I think if you met them today things would be very different. They have all been through so much they have children of there own and are trying to live normal lives. I’m pleased your are telling your story. ( there’s so much more I could say but cant) goodluck xxx (spent so much time reading this over and over deciding if I should be sending this feel I need to add the abuse has made the girls very close and I guess they are as happy as they can be )

    • ctsfitness says:

      Elaine wow as a adult I understand that there are two sides to every story. From talking to your mum I know your aunties and you all have suffered like my siblings and for this I am truly sorry.

      Vi Ron George George and Elsie are the ones that have lost out in the long run but they have also damaged many lives in the process. The best thing that we can do is show them that they have not destroyed us and this is what the book is about…..making a better and brighter future.

      My story ‘Through The Eyes Of A Child’ is just that….my story as I experienced it as a child and getting over it, making sense of it all as an adult. This book was not about naming and shaming or revenge or making anyone’s life difficult. It was about me telling people that no matter what has happened to them, they can make changes, they can be successful and have a happier future.

      I will in time meet with your auntie’s I am sure we will get on fine. Tina your mum gave me lots of things to think about and I am still processing the information she gave me. I am thankful for all the help and support that she and Mick gave us. I never truly appreciated what they did do for us because I did not know :O)

      This book is about getting all my thoughts and feelings out there and healing myself, giving myself a voice to be heard. Showing others that they can do the same if they wish. It has bought my siblings and I closer; we understand more about each other now there are no more secrets or shame.

      Chris xxx

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