“Breaking the Cycle” of Negativity – Self Esteem-Self confidence-Self Belief Part 2 of 3


by “Breaking The Cycle” – With The Survival School; Health for Your Mind & Body

Have you ever REALLY listened to your ‘internal’ voice? What does it say to you? Does your internal voice say positive things to you?


  • I love you
  • I thing you are great
  • You can do this
  • I am behind you 100%
  • You are beautiful
  • You are a work in progress and you will achieve what you set out to achieve

Or does it say negative things to you?


  • I hate you
  • I don’t like you
  • You are fat
  • You are useless
  • There must be something wrong with you
  • You are not ugly
  • You have nothing to offer anyone
  • You are stupid
  • You are a waste of space

When you are bought up in a loving environment your parent’s role is to teach you, encourage you, praise you and guide you. This helps build up your self esteem bank account, makes you feel good about yourself. If you have had a happy and fulfilling upbringing you would have heard the phrases listed out in the positive list above. This is how it should be.

When you are bought up in a loveless critical environment you would have heard many of the phrases in the negative list.

Whichever phrases you hear on a daily basis you will grow up believing that you are this person because you know no better.

I myself had a bit of both…I share all my experiences with you in my book “Through The eyes Of A Child”.

Up till the age of 7 I believed I was treated with love and respect…enough for me to see me through the years of abuse from the ages of 7-15. I believe it gave me enough self esteem to bounce back each time because I knew that there was another way, life, was not meant to be like this. However my younger sister and brother can only remember the years of negativity and do not seem to be able to get themselves out of the negative cycle very easily.


To build your self esteem:

  • you need to notice and acknowledge your achievements (any)
  • you need to set realistic expectations for yourself
  • you need to monitor and evaluate your progress
  • you need to be prepared to change course if needed

At no stage should you ridicule or criticise yourself this is not productive for you in achieving your goals.

Like anything in life the more you practise the skill the more you will master it and reap the benefits from it.

Self esteem is gained by DOING esteem-able acts.

These may include:

  • rising above a particular situation against all odds
  • changing your job or career
  • taking part in a sport
  • re-gaining for health, fitness, waistline
  • winning a competition

By doing and seeing things through, rather than procrastinating – thinking about doing it you REALISE two things…..

1.       you gain the benefit of the result you set out to achieve

2.       you have the ability the potential to do whatever it is you put your mind to

For example you want to drop 2 dress sizes……you can sit there thinking about it and do nothing or you can CHOOSE to put a plan of action together and act on it to achieve your goal.

Not everyone is willing to pay the price or be consistent and persistent with their actions to achieve their goals. Are you?

Remember you can only build up your self esteem bank account if you take consistent and persistent action and over time you will reach your goals.

Look out for the next instalment where we will be looking at some strategies to improve and or build your self esteem.

Be True to Yourself

Chris Tuck

“Breaking The Cycle” – Bringing Health To Your Mind & Body – Through The Survival School



Seyi Eyitayo Author of “The Power of Self Belief” http://www.januspublishing.co.uk

Chris Tuck – “Through The Eyes Of A Child” available soon. Register your interest for a copy of the book @ http://www.christuckmystory.com

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