Over the last 3 days I have been engrossed in a book called Stolen Innocence by John Batt
This is the true story of Sally Clark wrongly convicted of killing her two baby son’s.
Why was I reading it?
I am doing alot of my own ‘research’ into the impacts of child abuse
Over the last 2 years I have spoken to and heard from many survivors of child abuse who have told me that they have had their children taken away from them unjustly.
I don’t know anything about the court system and I’m not an expert on any of these survivors stories
But what they have told me bothers me
It seems ruddy unfair that a survivor suffers child abuse, tries to deal with the impact through medication (alcohol) etc and then gets their kids taken away as a a result.
Now I know the child’s welfare has to come 1st always
But what help is there for the survivor to deal with their issues as a result of child abuse? And become a better parent?
I asked the survivors who have spoken to me why haven’t I read about cases like this in main stream media?
They tell me that their cases are heard in the ‘Family Court’ system and that this system is a closed system
I.e. anything that happens in the ‘Family Court’ system cannot be talked about publicly – it is not allowed.
I spoke to my friend about this whole situation and she told me to read the book about Sally Clark as a point in case….how the whole judicial system is set up, is unfair, & very costly.
This book is not about the ‘Family Court’ system but it gave me an insight into the workings of the court….solicitors, barristers, judges, experts, jury’s etc.
Anyway I was staggered at the great miscarriage of justice in Sally Clark’ s case and it got me thinking about the secrecy of the ‘Family Court’ system.
Isn’t it about time we had transparency?
Isn’t it about time survivors of abuse were given the proper help that they need to be happy and healthy individuals? And to be the best parents they can be?
Now I know some parents were never meant to have children and their abuse of those children is never to be understated and their punishment in my eyes should be maximised.
But there are many parents out there who are survivors of abuse and the impact of that abuse impacts their ability to be the best parents they can be.
They need a helping hand….what does this look like I don’t know at the moment.
Often they have children to fill a void…if they think if ‘I just have my own child I will have someone to love and someone to love me back’.
But as we all know being a parent is bloody hard work at the best of times and if you are a survivor it can be hard or even impossible.
I have just finished reading Sally Clark’ s book at 9.20am today and I Google her hoping to find out that she was able to lead a happy life after being wrongly imprisoned for 3 and half years…..
Sadly Sally was found dead in 2007
This is why I have written this post to say how sorry I am and to say thank you to her for sharing her story.
The impact of what happened to her was just too much.
Another thought I have had is why didn’t I know about this case whilst it was happening? In was all over main stream media…documentaries were made about it
I was too busy…..
Busy…running away from my own past…my own trauma.
I was trying to build a life for me….the perfect life….or so I thought.
I wanted everything in place before I brought children into the world…..
….the thing is I hadn’t worked on me….I didn’t know I needed help…I didn’t know that what followed the birth of my son in 1998 would lead onto a breakdown in 2000 and 15 more years of understanding the impact of the child abuse I suffered as a child.
The impact on my…
- Mental & emotional health
- Physical health
- My relationships with my ‘parents’ my in laws, my husband, my siblings, my kids
- ME…
- As a professional As a member of society As a business owner
To help untangle my mind and look for me amongst all the internal anguish
- 2012 I started to write my book with Karen Lisa Laing….
- 2012 I started my blog http://www.christuckmystory.com
- 2013 I launched my book Through The Eyes of A Child to help riase awareness of the umpact of child abuse and to help fellow survivors understand what was happening to them by breaking the silence.
- 2014 – 2015 I started campaigning and public speaking in earnest to raise awareness of the impact of childhood abuse on the Individual as an adult appearing on TV, Radio and in print
- 2015 I became an member of the VSCP on the Goddard Inquiry
- 2016 I have founded S.O.B http://www.survivorsofabuse.org.uk
To empower survivors to change their life in a healthy and positive way through the ‘Breaking The Cycle’ Health & Wellness Programme.
I am using all my energies to make myself happier and healthier, improve my relationships, support survivors through S.O.B. we will be fundraising in earnest in 2016.
Health & Happiness,
Chris x
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christuckmystory 